Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
