There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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