Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
