But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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