I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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