sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
