Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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