so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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