Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
