I think I died a long time ago.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
