We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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