Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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