I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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