every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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