I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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