Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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