i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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