and you said cock pushups were impossible
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
