i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
