Please don't use social media to get back at me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
