Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
