He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
