You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
