For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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