So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
