There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're a waste of cheezeits
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
