Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
