I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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