That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's not a walk of shame if you run
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
