Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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