What tipped you off? The sombrero?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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