he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
