Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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