'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
