Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
