remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
