She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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