if you like me you must not know who I am
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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