I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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