I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
