He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
