great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
