the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
