too bad you live with your parents still
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
