i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
