The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Green mimosas i think yes
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
