So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
