She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
