2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
