do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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